请帮我看下我写的这句话有错么I feel my heart speeds up,when I hear her namefrom my old friends.

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请帮我看下我写的这句话有错么I feel my heart speeds up,when I hear her namefrom my old friends.
请帮我看下我写的这句话有错么
I feel my heart speeds up,when I hear her namefrom my old friends.

请帮我看下我写的这句话有错么I feel my heart speeds up,when I hear her namefrom my old friends.
您的原句从语法方面来说没错,但从英语习惯上来说有以下几点建议,供参考：
因为是听到了她的名字后心才跳得快,所以用过去时态比较适合
heart speeds up 改为 heart beat speeds up (心跳加快）
from 改为 mentioned by 提到

I felt my heart beat speeded up when I heard her name mentioned by my old friends.

I feel my heart speed up when I hear her name from my old friends.

I feel my heart speeds up, when I hear her name from my old friends.
此句语法上并没有错误。只是可略作修改:

I felt my heart beating fast when I heard of her name from my old friends.
当我从我的老朋友那里听说她的名字时，我感到我的心跳加速,。

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