请帮忙修改一下英语作文The vacation is coming.Most of us students are traveling around,however,I am just staying at home and enjoying my holiday.Firstly,I am planning to spend much time in studying.After finishing homework,I decide to do so

请帮忙修改一下英语作文The vacation is coming.Most of us students are traveling around,however,I am just staying at home and enjoying my holiday.Firstly,I am planning to spend much time in studying.After finishing homework,I decide to do so
请帮忙修改一下英语作文
The vacation is coming.Most of us students are traveling around,however,I am just staying at home and enjoying my holiday.
Firstly,I am planning to spend much time in studying.After finishing homework,I decide to do some extra learning,such as reading literature works,listening to English videos,writing articles and so on.
Secondly,I am going to help my parents with housework.I have been thinking about sharing household duties but it’s impossible during the school term.
Thirdly,I am taking exercises every day because it’s important for us to keep fit.Although I might be tired,I can relax myself and have fun.
To sum up,I am making the best use of the holiday in order to enrich my life.A terrific vacation,isn’t it?
-----------------------------------------
主要内容是 my vacation plan 之类的
我想把我写的这个句式更丰富一些,字数删减一些
本人初二学生

请帮忙修改一下英语作文The vacation is coming.Most of us students are traveling around,however,I am just staying at home and enjoying my holiday.Firstly,I am planning to spend much time in studying.After finishing homework,I decide to do so
初二的学生能写出这样的作文已经很了不起了.字数没有必要删减了.我提几点建议吧.
is coming=is around the corner
are traveling around 虽然可以表示将要做什么.不过我们一般用be going to 句型.可以说：are planning to travel outside or are going to travel around.
每一段开头都用be going to 有些单调.
可以这样写：
First of all,I give my sduty top priority.(把学习放在第一位）……
Besize,I think it is also quite valuable to spend my holiday time on some housework.……
Finally,I am going to spare some time to do physical exercise,which can help build my body and I can also find a lot of fun in the process.

假期快到了。我们中的大多数学生周游，但是，我只是呆在家里，享受我的假期。
首先，我打算花太多时间学习。在完成功课，我决定做的，如阅读文学作品，一些额外的学习，听英语影片，写文章等等。
第二，我要帮助父母做家务。我一直在思考分担家庭责任，但不可能在学期内。
第三，我现在天天练，因为这对我们来说重要，强身健体。虽然我可能是累了，我可以放松自己，享受乐趣。...

全部展开

假期快到了。我们中的大多数学生周游，但是，我只是呆在家里，享受我的假期。
首先，我打算花太多时间学习。在完成功课，我决定做的，如阅读文学作品，一些额外的学习，听英语影片，写文章等等。
第二，我要帮助父母做家务。我一直在思考分担家庭责任，但不可能在学期内。
第三，我现在天天练，因为这对我们来说重要，强身健体。虽然我可能是累了，我可以放松自己，享受乐趣。
概括地说，我提出了节日盛装，使用，以丰富我的生活。极好的假期，是不是？
本人初二学生 保证答案没错!!

收起

首先作为一个初二学生，你这篇文章结构很不错，段落之间用了firstly之类的连接词，最后也用了sum up总结一下。作文最重要的不是一两个好矩形，而是整篇文章的流畅感。
你的作文题目是plan，但是你文章中大量用现在进行时，现在进行时也可以表示将要发生的事，但是那是短时间内就要发生的，这里你应该用一般将来时就可以了。
firstly那一段，我觉得你后面after之后...

全部展开

首先作为一个初二学生，你这篇文章结构很不错，段落之间用了firstly之类的连接词，最后也用了sum up总结一下。作文最重要的不是一两个好矩形，而是整篇文章的流畅感。
你的作文题目是plan，但是你文章中大量用现在进行时，现在进行时也可以表示将要发生的事，但是那是短时间内就要发生的，这里你应该用一般将来时就可以了。
firstly那一段，我觉得你后面after之后可以改用not only but also句型或者简单一点用besides连接，after已经被大家用到烂了。
而且，在段落中间，你也可以适当加上一些连词，例如secondly那里，在housework之后你也可以用since来连接一下，这样就让句句之间的联系更紧密。
其他方面，我觉得对于一个初二学生来说已经很不错了，再作修改，就有点画蛇添足了。

收起